Location: Somewhere over the Timor Sea.

Time: Depends which timezone you use.

Speed: 813km/h.

Height: 40000 feet.

Progress: 7 hours into my 10 hours flight.

As the plane flies over the Timor Sea, the sea that separates Australia from Indonesia, there isn’t much to do but think and reminisce. It’s no different from the usual really. However it does provide me ample time to jot these thoughts on my laptop.

The same planes normally fly the same routes. It’s not the first time I’ve been on MH130 (and MH131 which covers the same route), and I’m sure it won’t be the last. However these Malaysian 747’s have been refitted within the last year. Planes now offer Movies, TV and Video on demand! So that means instead of catching the usual 2.5 movies (since we have to wait for scheduled screening times, and normally I never get to finish the last movie). WHOOPEE~! There’s a choice of about 40 movies to choose from instead of the usual 5, and the library contains old movies too, ahh the joys of technology and digital streaming.

I’ve already watched a Japanese movie (called Simsons, it’s about the sport of ice curling), a romantic comedy that didn’t have a happy ending (The Break Up, Vince Vaughn, Jennifer Anniston), and a broadway musical (Westside Story).

Westside story tells of a rivalry between two gangs, the Jets, an all American bunch of hoodlums) and the Sharks (a group of Puerto Rican immigrants trying to make a living in America). I’ve always wanted to watch it since our school did Westside Story for our production in 7^th form. I was privileged enough to be given the role of Tony (although there were two sets of casts), the lead male and Anashuya Richards co-starred with me as Maria. It’s basically Romeo and Juliet in a contemporary context and in a musical format.

I’ve been involved with performances in church since I was 5, but Westside Story was an amazing experience that I’ll never forget, we had about 100 people involved with the production, not to mention I had the Auckland Youth Symphony Orchestra backing for me! It was so much hard work, but we had so much fun in rehearsals and I made a lot of friends. Watching the movie just rekindled lots of memories for me, and reminded me how much I love acting/dancing/singing. God has blessed me with a talent to perform and I do like being on stage, I do it all for His glory. I still remember lots of those lines, and most of the lyrics to the songs. I do have one bad memory from performing in West Side Story though, I bought a ticket for my dad to come watch the results but he never showed on the night.

I stopped participating in performing arts when I entered uni, I’m not exactly sure why. I think one of the reasons was that I had a bad experience auditioning for the Auckland Theatre Company a few years ago. A friend I’d known through productions asked me to come audition with him. I thought I had aced the audition and my friend had made a few mistakes. However, it was to my dismay a couple weeks after that I got some mail saying that they would not accept me, however my friend was accepted. I never knew the reason for that choice, however it might’ve been because I don’t have the height, the looks that my friend has, or just the fact that I wasn’t white. Perhaps I’ll never know.

However, it’s something that I enjoy, and something that I think could reach people for Jesus. It’s something I might want to pursue when I get back to NZ next year.

Anyways, we’re almost going to start descent now, gotta go.

Dance like no one’s watching,

Sing like no one’s listening,

Life like there’s no tomorrow.

Love as though your heart has never been broken.

!!!SUPPLIESSSSSSS!!! (or was that Surprise!!! Ask me about this, it's a pretty funny joke)

It would be stupid of me not to thank all my friends who planned a 'surprise' party for me (which i blatantly foiled, bwahahaha). I feel guilty for having them put the effort into having a party for me and not enjoy the 'fruits' of their labor, but at the same time, you know me, I'm a horrible actor. I guess that is a challenge for all my friends to try to really surprise me next time..... if there is a next time... if they ever have the desire to try again... and if i have anymore friends left after spoiling their surprise. :P

I thought I'd lay down my experiences so that if you wish to be a party pooper like moi (and it's not the first time I've foiled one too, so consider me experienced!), here is everything you know:

1) There must be an event, ie your birthday, your anniversary, your leaving, your happy hanukah day, your promotion.
Basically it must be for you! Don't go and foil surprise parties that aren't for you unless you have a death wish! General events like Christmas or Easter do not count so don't expect any surprise parties for you on days like these (Unless of course your birthday is on Xmas).
Application: Well, the guys did pretty well here, they planned to have the party on the day before my birthday! However, still having it so close to my actual birthday roused suspicions.

2) Your friends are acting strangely.
If your friends can't stop giggling or don't wish you happy birthday (half the guys who were at my birthday party) or congratulations, it's not because you smell. It's probably because they've got some dark secret they're trying to hide and don't want you to know.
Application:
i) Well, tons of my friends didn't wish me a happy birthday :( so instead of being sad or angry I got paranoid! Either they were useless friends, or they were forgetful friends (more likely), or they didn't know it was my birthday and that I existed (most likely). I won't name names, you guys know who you were!
ii) My mum had told me we were going out for dinner. Daniel told me we were going to play DoTA after. I asked my mum if I could go out after dinner. She became stone-faced and went "uh............... maybe after 11 or 12" *BIG HINT HERE*
iii) So, we went out for dinner, and Dan Yang called me around 9. And after saying that DoTA was cancelled... ASKED TO TALK TO MY MOTHER. *BIG BIG HINT HERE* When I asked him why, he said "uh..... I want to buy some sunglasses from her." I gave it to my mum, thinking nothing of it, then my mind went BOOM why didn't he ask for my dad instead?! Indeed, my suspicions were roused!
iv) After the suspicious phone conversation with my mother, we were maybe 3/4ths through dinner. My mum suddenly said "Charles, are you full? Feel free to go ahead and go home." *ALARM BELLS TOLLING* She said this while my mouth was still full of tofu and rice!

3) Friends don't conceal their intentions! If your friends are carrying "SURPRISE!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY" signposts when you're around.. pls pls pls pls be aware that there may be a surprise party in your near future.
Application:
i) Driving home after being chased unceremoniously before having my dessert, as I was driving on the street before my home, what do I see? I see this beautiful red and white new Mini Cooper which I had been riding around in just a day before, parked on the side of the road outside my house (Thanks Edward). Next to that, I also saw Amos' car, Eugene's car, and a few others. Hehe, that was when I was sure.
ii) These guys forgot to pack up their shoes in my foyer! Enough said. Lol!

Having said all I have said, I AM STILL BLESSED TO HAVE SUCH GREAT AND WONDERFUL FRIENDS. I appreciate all that you guys did for me. THANK YOU SO MUCH. Sorry I was a little out of it, I was still pretty tired from Reflect 07! I really wish that you guys had gotten that SWEET guitar for me, but with friends like these, who needs really really really really expensive and awesome guitars? :D You connect the dots.

Thanks to: Dan Yang, Eugene, Wei Lun, Edward, Jimbo, Hsu Lynn, Sarah, Ivan, Gilainne, Ben, Shaun, Abby, Yen, Kimarie, Hensen, Amos, Irvin, Rayvin, TX (did I miss anyone else out?) and all those that wished me happy birthday and even those who didn't.

I'm trying to do 2 3000 word essays which are due next friday. So most of you won't be seeing me till then! But right now I'm participating in something they call a community placement programme and basically, I'm riding around the night shift from 11pm-7am with the police, vanquishing crime and preserving justice and all that jazz! I've already gone through one night, but have two more to go! Will try to keep everyone up to date!

22 years ago. I was born. Happy birthday to me.

Someone told me that you know you're mature when you don't celebrate your birthday with big bashes anymore. I wonder if that's true? Maybe you just forget to celebrate the fact that life is an awesome gift from God and is worth living.

Age and goodness don't necessarily correlate. I'm growing older, but still trying to be a better man. Thanks God for giving me another year of life, be with me through the next too.

:)

Excerpt from "Emma"
I wondered if you would find this letter
To leave you in such a manner is my one regret
And yet.. my heart at this moment is somehow strangely filled with calmness and peacefulness
Even knowing it was a love that could not come true for us...
To be able to reach out to you like this..
I was truly happy
The precious memory of you will always be with me
Though we will live apart
I wish you happiness for all time.

I hate sad endings. :(

Emma is the tragic tale of a romance that blossomed but was always doomed to failure.
It main theme is about the difference between different classes - the gentry and the lower class - that was prevalent in the Victorian Era and which still exists even in some socieities today and the exposes the unjust consequences of such a aristocracical system.
Sometimes we have to make the hardest decisions now for the best future.
How will we ever know whether that hardest decision was the right one?
Can love conquer all? Can it truly bridge the gap between two worlds?
Don't be stupid and decide to be a hero and take the fall for me, we're in this together, love is all there is. True love is a once-in-a-lifetime thing.
As long as there is hope, the human spirit lives on.

Genuine Wealth

One day, the father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the express purpose of showing him how poor people live. They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family. On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, "How was the trip?"

"It was great, Dad."

"Did you see how poor people live?" the father asked.

"Oh yeah," said the son.

"So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?" asked the father.

The son answered:

"I saw that we have one dog and they had four.

We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end.

We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night.

Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon.

We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight.

We have servants who serve us, but they serve others.

We buy our food, but they grow theirs.

We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them."

The boy's father was speechless.

Then his son added, "Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are."

Isn't perspective a wonderful thing? Makes you wonder what would happen if we all gave thanks for everything we have, instead of worrying about what we don't have.

Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends!

"Life is too short and friends are too few."

Don't worry, I've not gone weird or gotten married nor am I pregnant. The past few posts are just things that I wrote after my last relationship (which was a longggggggggg time ago). I always thought I'd use them for a song or two, but seems like they'll stay just words for now. Which is fine by me.

Heh. Some of those seem funny now that I read them again.

The hopeless romantic never dies.

Well that's that,
You've said what you needed to say,
And now we stand as separate,
No longer taking a secret joy in that connection that is now 1severed.
And I can only regret the things
I did to make you do what you did.

I should've given you more attention,
I should've been more sympathetic,
I should've been there for you.
But now these things I want to be have changed from 'should've' to 'never will',
Because I'll never get the chance again
Because time cannot turn back the hands of time and I'm left here,
Feeling so sorry for the way I'd treated you,
You didn't deserve it,
It was all me, my life my lies and my ego,

What use is pride when you end up alone with an empty house for a heart.
The warmth I dreamt of was always only a teasing whisper in the breeze.
And my heart continues to reach out for it, grasping the nothingness of an empty illusion.

We often see our mistakes only after we've done them,

We only miss people after they've moved on,

We'll only ever know what we had, once it's gone.

It's a sunny sunday outside
but inside my heart
just the little things in life
tear me apart
and i'm feeling pressed down
a little bent
like i'm getting worn away
i can't be strong forever
in fact i'm weak as hell today

woh-oh-oh i, i know i'm living a blue monday
the wrong day of the week for my life
just another blue monday
i wish dawn was here but it's never gonna reach
the reds and yellows all turn to grey

i'm feeling lazy
even a little crazy
wondering meanings of nothings
everything's hazy
too many things daze me

looking for this light at the end that's supposed to be in view
but finding nothing more than a wall that calls itself a seal
waiting for the day this crooked will not bend
waiting for the moment this all will end

and even if these wings weren't meant to fly
i'll still gonna spread them wide, i was born to try
for nothing worth something ever came for free
and maybe one day this could just be too easy

Restless dreams
by the candlelight
illuminate all of my fears inside
the northern wind
sends chills down my spine (it gives me chils)
as i try to keep this
dying flame alive
this dying flame alive

So darling can't you see
Nothing ever comes for free
sometimes you give less than you take
You know your fragile heart I'll never break

I've given up my dreams just to hold you
Gone and lost my way just to find you
Did nothing ever reach your heart
I did it all for you
Gave it all I had
Don't regret it now
You did this to yourself

is it asking too much
is it asking at all
Oh was I a fool to hope your forever meant forever

Wake up now and smell the roses
And throw the memories of yesterday away
Today's a brand new day and it's time to find a new horizon
It's time for you to put on those new shiny shoes
And let everyone know that you're not here to lose
You gotta give it all your best now
You're gonna make yourself damn proud

Though everyone's waiting for you to fall
I'll be there when you call

Wake up early in the morning
Sunlight's yet to greet the sky
Still the same old story same old life
Bills to pay and things to buy
Chances wasted
Another day's gone
You try your best
but you never belong

And everything's not as it seems
The waves are crashing down on you
The world is spinning round and round
And you're swimming hard trying not to drown
The walls are closing in You can't escape
It's way too late
Take my hand, I'll hold it tight
I'll save you tonight

2006 was sooooooooooooo last year!

I'm back~ Blogger was giving me some problems but it's all good now, hope u're ready for a new year of lame jokes, contradictory contradictions, oh, and don't forget the seasonal "i feel so lonely.. why does nobody love me" posts.

Happy Chinese New Year, hope all you pigs have a great year ahead (may sound rude but it's not).

Blog ya later, expect so much more :)

What's been up in my life:

Camps camps camps! And the church Youth Musical! You can read my good friend James Ong's blog for more details! I don't have an internet connection at home in Malaysia, so I don't have much time to blog, and I've been really busy. Hope everyone's going well and has a really great Christmas! God bless you guys~~
http://j-mes.blogspot.com/2006/12/campscampsmusicalpart-1.html

Blog 2
It was a cool balmy 24 degrees centigrade when the plane touched down in KLIA. It’s been raining apparently, so the huge shock one normally gets from stepping outside of KLIA was somewhat dampened. The extra humidity in the air is still noticeable though. It’s interesting how my brain is handling this, I was surprised that it was like I had not left at all, it’s like once I arrived back in Malaysia, all the time in NZ was a dream. It is as though I had never got on the plane for NZ at the beginning of the year, and that I had just visited KLIA and was about to just head out after a day. I still remember vividly eating at McDonalds with my dad as if it was yesterday, I could probably still remember what we ordered too. Maybe this is what they mean by the saying “when I dream that I am a butterfly, am I a man dreaming I am a butterfly? Or am I a butterfly dreaming that I am a man?” Well.. it is 4.15am NZ time so maybe my mind is just not processing the information correctly.

Even before an hour on the road, and already we’ve seen an accident happen on the motorway. Some boyracer was going too fast when suddenly 2 lanes merged into one because of road works, and the car lost control. Thankfully the car was able to slow down considerably before hitting the barrier, causing minimal damage. But yeah, wow Malaysian driving is scary!

I am now on the way to Bidor, which is about 2 hours away from KL, we have a certain shop that we always stop by for food, it’s become somewhat of a tradition now. It’s great to see mum and dad again, we’ve spent the last hour catching up on each others lives. I’m feeling sleepy, tired, and jetlagged, but also have a sense of security now that I’m in the passenger seat with my parents driving again.
Just like old times.

5.08am – we stopped by Bidor and had a bite to eat. Once again, it seemed like I had just been to it last week, but it has already been a year. I told my parents this and my dad said “yeah of course it hasn’t changed, it hasn’t changed in 20 or 40 years!” Coming back from living in a city, that’s a really difficult concept to grasp, everything changes in a city, and quickly too!
Although I dreaded making the trip back, having to travel for about slightly less than 20 hours, as soon as the food we ordered came and I stuck the first fishball into my mouth, I realised that it was all worth it. Just one bite and all my regrets of leaving disappeared. What price can you put on a taste of home?
We ordered fishball soup, ee mee, a fish dish (haruan), and halfway through my parents decided to order turtle! I felt a bit hesitant at first, seeing how turtles are endangered but when in rome, do as the romans do. It kinda had the texture of beef, although there were other parts which were different like the bone and tendons. I haven’t had turtle in a very long time, possibly about 8 years or so.

There’s no real point in this post, just a record of my thoughts and musings.

My Perfect Day

It's not everyday you get to go swimming in paradise!

With a great view right next to the swimming pool!

Where the kids are happy,

And the family aren't trying to kill each other,

And the water's clean, cool and refreshing,

And you even have some champagne on the ice...

And let's not forget the kids!

GREETINGS FROM MALAYSIA! I hope everyone is having as great a time as I am! God bless you all these holidays!!

Here I am, sitting in front of my computer at 3.54am on the 23rd of November 2006. In 10 hours, I will be on a flight due for Kuala Lumpur International Airport. Although the yearly 3 month trip back to Malaysia is a journey that I have made physically, mentally, psychologically many times in my life, it is somewhat different now. It is possibly one of the last few times that I will be able to be with my family for such an extended period of time. I wasn't even supposed to come back for this long this time round were it not for my brother's wedding.

The truth is that most adults that work and live away from their hometowns don't get the chance to spend months reconnecting with their roots in their hometowns. Sometimes they can only spend 2 or 3 days visiting their parents. I am privileged to be able to come back and reintegrate with the town that I grew up in.

I remember that for a period in my teens of about 2 or 3 years, our family never sat down as a family unit together for dinner even once. This was because of our links both to New Zealand and Malaysia, my sister and my brother would be studying in New Zealand, or my parents would be away back in Malaysia. So I was tremendously happy a couple years later when once again my whole family sat at the same table; my father, mother, brother, sister, grandmother and me. That is why I cherish coming home and spending time with my family. It won't be long until my brother moves into his own new house (which is next door to my father's house btw), and my sister and Jake move back to New Zealand, and I'll be somewhere God only knows and the family unit that I know of will forever be changed.

I have got a couple things to look forward to, we are moving into a new house, my brother Anthony Ling is getting married to Jo Cyee after 4-5 years of courtship, the yearly musical that was postponed last year might be held this year, being a helper at the national Methodist Youth camp Youthquake, and seeing old friends and finding new adventures!

And once again, I feel a reluctance to let go of the life I have built this year in New Zealand. I still haven't really cleaned up my house since exams were over. I have close friends whom I do not want to leave for 3 months. I want to explore who I am and what I can be now that I have time.

But these feelings aren't new, these conflicts not unfelt before. It's just that with these old feelings comes a new feeling of urgency. To make the most of my time that I have left in Malaysia.

Because I'll be coming home as usual, but it may not be the usual much longer.

If only we could see each other as Jesus sees us, there would be no wars and no broken hearts.
Lord, open the eyes of our hearts.

If home is where the heart is, then the problem with having two hearts is that you're never where half of your heart is.

God, make my heart only for You.

The most painful thing in this life is when you know that you've found the single greatest truth in your life but have to keep silent about it.

Of Fairy Tales and Fables

If you look to www.dictionary.com and searched for the word "fable," you would get this as the first result. According to dictionary.com, a fable is "a short tale to teach a moral lesson, often with animals or inanimate objects as characters; apologue: the fable of the tortoise and the hare; Aesop's fables."

How many of us would remember who Aesop was? Or what some of his fables were? And no, Fable is not a computer game developed by Lionhead Studios! I remember reading about the fox and his sour grapes when I was young and learning good a moral lesson - never despise what we cannot get. Looking back in my life, I see that this little lesson has played a big part in my life, and how did i learn this lesson? A mere fable. The television shows that kids watch these days, such as Spongebob Squarepants and Cow and Chicken, seem more for entertainment than for teaching kids about morals and values. Can we blame people then when they don't know anything about sportsmanship or honesty? No, not really. However, some cartoons do attempt to espouse good moral values but once again I would say that it is still overshadowed by the need to entertain. We do need to be mindful of what we feed our children's minds, and our own minds. Anyways, That's not really the point of this post.

An interesting fact, did you know that it was not uncommon for a fable to not have a happy ending? Hansen and Gretel were eaten by the witch, for example. However, people like happy endings and now almost every story you hear has a happy ending.

The REAL point of this post for me to tell you a little fable. I call it:

"The Bird and the Boy"

There once was a boy and a bird. The boy lived by himself in a small house and the bird lived in a nest in a tree just outside the boy's house. Now, it was springtime and so all the birds would chirp and sing but this bird was the best of them all. The bird would sing louder than any other bird. The bird would sing all day, in the morning, in the afternoon and again in the evening.

Now the boy had heard the bird singing every day, but he disliked the bird because it disturbed his peace and quiet. He would chase the bird away everytime the bird began to sing. But the bird, as birds do, continued to sing his merry little song.

One day, the boy was got so angry that he came up with a plan. He would throw poisoned food outside of his house and maybe the bird would eat it and become sick. He did this.

The next day, the boy heard the bird singing again, loud as ever. However, he decided to forget about the bird and continue with his daily life.

One week later, the boy noticed that the bird did not sing anymore. There was no more cheerful chirps around his house during that day. "Maybe the bird is just too busy to sing today," the boy thought. The next day, the boy tried to listen for the bird's song, but again there was no song to be heard. The boy started to get worried but as the days passed, the little bird did not appear.

The boy realised that he missed the bird and its songs. He felt lonely now that the house was so quiet. He remembered how the bird would sing and fill the house with song, but now all that was left was the boy and his little home.

*THE END*

Little bird, where are you? Won't you come back and sing another song?

My dad and his brothers and sisters have always been close even though there are often a lot of dramas between them. But they know well that blood is thicker than water. When my grandfather was still alive, my uncles and aunties would meet up every night at his house to chat about daily events and when we were young, we would be brought along to this daily ritual. I had stayed at my grandfathers house for a few years with my family after we moved back to Malaysia while my house was being built. So this means that I got to know my cousins pretty well after seeing them every night for years.

I have more than 15 cousins on my father's side. However, I do not consider myself close with all of them. However, there has always been 2 of my cousins that I have considered closer to me than the others. One of these 2 is my cousin Jamie.

My dear beautiful cousin Jamie was married on the 4th of November 2006. She is 2 years older than me but sometimes I felt that I was the one protecting her from all her admirers (and she had a lot!). We have always been close since we were young. I remember the times when we were younger when we would play Ghost, and cook things on milo lids with candles for fires, and go out with lanterns during the mooncake festival to 'scare evil spirits' away. I will also always remember being taken to Pesta Laut (before they banned it!) with your family and how you and Annie told me it was bad to whistle at night because real ghosts would follow me home. I remember the talks and laughs we shared throughout the years. Your family helped make me feel welcome when I was just a young boy who had just moved back from New Zealand and had no friends. I am just so grateful to God for such a great cousin.

However, girls who dream of marriage change into women who get married so CONGRATULATIONS FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART. I pray God's blessing on your marriage and may you bring God's presence to your new family! Sorry I couldn't make it because I had exams then. So a note on blogspot will have to do for now till I can offer you my congrats in person.

We are still close (she works for my dad), but I wonder how things will turn out now that you're married. Will we still be the same? Somehow I think we will. :) Benz you are a very lucky guy, you need to take care of my cousin or you will have to answer to me! Hehe, I guess I still got that protective streak in me.

Congratulations Jamie, may you find your happily ever after. I think you owe me a celebratory dinner when I get back to Malaysia. ;)