Sex sex sex (Not so much drugs and rock and roll)

If you know me, you know I like to be able and try to relate to people, and sometimes to do that you need to do what they do, see what they see, and so on.

When I was younger, I equated relationships with physicality. If you were in a relationship, you were participating in physicality in some way. I had been exposed to sex as a very young child so I never had that blanket of innocence on me as others did. I was never a wild swinger, but I wasn't a saint either. I thought hey, if the only person that I get physical in my life with is my wife, then that means there's nothing wrong getting physical with them. I always loved my girlfriends as much as a wife, and so physicality was a way of being intimate and sharing. I played it risky, I said to myself that sex wasn't sex as long as it didn't involve intercourse. I was curious, I wanted to learn, I didn't want to be laughed at for not being a good lover. I had been reading metro and countless other girls mags, with special regard to the parts that taught you how to be a good partner in bed.

A humbling experience for me was when I ask one of my best friends, who was in his first relationship, about his relationship and how physical they had gotten. He was about 16 at the time. I was dumbfounded when he told me that they had only held hands and it was only once that they had done so. I never knew that couples existed that did not get physical. I couldn't believe it. (However, THAT friend is now into the whole clubbing and picking up random girls scene, however, irrelevant!).

My idea of sex had been cheapened by the world around me. To me holding hands barely meant anything, kissing was normal and should be done within 3 months of a relationship, etc etc. This is what the media teaches us these days. It teaches us that sexual encounters are as normal as eating making a cup of milo. I did not believe that a single relationship existed that did not involve some kind of dodgy physicality.

Actually.. I'm really tired. Lol sorry. I'll finish this post some other time.
However, I do wish to say this. Do I wish I could have sex? Of course! Which normal human wouldn't want to? Do I feel embarassed saying I'm a virgin? Yes (although, only by the hairs of my chinny chin chin). Am I going to be useless on my wedding night? Probably yes although I'd like to thing I'd be a natural and all those girl mags would've helped me. However, do I think that because I'm saving sex for marriage that it's going to be so much more worth it? I'm going to say it, O M G YES!