Thursday, October 05, 2006

People normally chase people, then find out whether they like each other or not. I'm not one of those, I decide whether I'm in the right place, whether I like the girl, and if I do, then i chase after her. It's a method that causes a whole lot of heartache (in a life full of heartaches already) and I guess as a result, I'm very cautious of giving my heart away. Call in insecurity, I call it self-sacrifice. Call it stupidity, I call it living how I want to. I don't care that it's not how the world operates. But that's how I'll keep going, as long as I can. Until someone sees me for who I am.
Call it sentimental suicide... I call it loving the love of your life even before she loves you. I'm going to love her for her, not for my insecurities, not for my need of companionship, not because it seemed the right thing to do at the time.

"i believe, my life's gonna see, the love I give, returned to me."

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

That's a good approach, don't change it.. when r u guys coming to welly again??? Must come for slc ok!

Anonymous said...

So EMO.

dyu necessarily have to chase after someone? y can't just be friends and take one day at a time. you don't have to "own" the girl, u know, just be friends and in time let God sort it out.

Anonymous said...

I (kind of) identify with this. =p
what's been up with you?

-yixing

www.xanga.com/jemufo

De Kiwi said...

fi - hahah i don't plan on changing it. Although most people would say "idiot, not working still don't want to change" :P
meow - nobody owns me except God most high. However, that being said, in a sense the special girl will own my heart. It's like a shortcut that only you know about, it doesn't necessarily belong to you, but you still 'own' it.
I like the 'just be friends till something happens' but in my experience now, most girls aren't patient enough, if you don't wear your heart on your sleeve soon enough, they lose interest.
There's nothing wrong with being emo is there? Helps me write good songs. :P
Yi Xing - HI! What's up? how've you been??? Thanks for stopping by. I've just been stressing for exams. Heading back to malaysia on the 23rd Nov!

Anonymous said...

A lot of Christian books on relationships tell me that I should "protect my heart." Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces - Matthew 7:6. They critique songs and images in the media of couples who quickly become attached to one another, stating the damaging emotional consequences of romantic attachments that invariably break and tear.

While this is wise, I fear that this bit of advice is laid bare to misinterpretation. When you form any relationships that are remotely meaningful, you open yourself up to all sorts of vulnerabilities. At the risk of sounding cynical, every relationship ends in tears. A good dating relationship might break up. Some marriages end in divorce. And those marriages that endure beyond all circumstances with love are inevitably ended with the death of a spouse. If you are so adamant about "not getting hurt", you should never form any attachments whatsoever. Even with a pet.

Avoiding love because of that possibility of hurt is pure selfishness. When you love, you love to benefit another. When you hold yourself in comfortable distance because you might just get hurt, that's you thinking of you - not the other person.

Having been through a few break ups, I once asked God how could I ever trust someone again. I mean, I've been in a relationship where I thought I found "the one" - only to realize how foolish I was, and take a year nursing my wounded heart. Then the Lord quietly whispered the following - it's okay, as long as your heart is in my hands. This is so true. I have everything to give and nothing to fear as long as my heart is in his hands. So when I love, I can love thinking of the other person - without fear of how *I* might get hurt.

ashleigh said...

charles ling!

hi there!
faster come back sitiawan! =)

Anonymous said...

Love ever suffers, it ever gives. -Gandhi-