Hmmm.... a thought crossed my mind yesterday and i was wondering, probly bcoz I'm alone and all, how much socialisation in one's life does one need to be properly normal in society? It's interesting when u think about it really! U hear these stories of ppl who've been living without human contact and i wonder how sane society wld deem them? Would they forget how to behave in public? Doing the Al Bundy position (hand down jeans, and not the pocket either!) and feel no hint of shame? I actually feared that this might happen to me?

I feel isolated, like I don't have any meaningful relationships in life at this moment. Maybe because I spend so much time alone? Maybe coz I don't have friends at my place all the time anymore? I guess this is all normal when you're at a crossroad in life? Kinda like the quote from Winston Churchill saying "i'm the most loneliest when i'm around people." I don't know, I feel like i really need to spend a day with someone just mucking around and doing nothing, but who with? U kinda need that certain level of 'friendship' before u can actually do that without feeling either "gay" or that u're in a relationship (dependin whether it's a guy or gal).

Which is weird, because I'm having so many meaningful conversations on MSN with tons of people and yet maybe I feel little reprieve? Maybe it's becoz I associate PC's with gaming and treat my conversations like a game rather than actually socialising? Which brings me to a really good question, "IS THE INTERNET A SUBSTITUTE FOR REAL SOCIALISING?" We get all these kids at home spending every evening chatting on their pcs but is it really a subsitute for having a game of bball at the court?

Who knows? I'm just probly in a contemplative mood, i don't feel depressed. Actually I feel pretty content in life, but who knows? I feel like I've heard that the worst depressed people are those who don't know their depressed? Is that me?? I feel fine, maybe great even!

I heard from bible study tonight that my friend's been diagnosed with minor depression, I'm a little bit worried for her, she's a really awesome person and has helped me through some tough times, I think I'm gonna txt her to try to brighten her up. But yea, hmm.. sorry no funnies today. Except u can laugh at me bcoz I have an assignment to do and hand in tomorrow! hehe!

I just read the book "Sushi for beginners" by Marian Keyes (I KNO I KNO it's a chick book :)) under recommendation from my good friend Kimi and in it there are these comedians and they all write books that are filled with darkness and hate and hurt, and is that what I am? Do i have this dark alter ego that's bent on destroying the world and making everyday saturday? Hmm, nah i think not, i think he'd rather play some Basketball and drink tea. hehe, dang my alter ego stinks.... Anyways, here's for a better day tomorrow~ Ganbattemasu~~