I don’t need to be anything other than a prison guard’s son
I don’t need to be anything other than a specialist’s son
I don’t have to be anyone other than the birth of two souls in one
Part of where I’m going is knowing where I’m coming from

(Chorus)
I don’t want to be anything other than what I’ve been trying to be lately
All I have to do is think of me and I have peace of mind
I’m tired of looking ‘round rooms wondering what I gotta do
Or who I’m supposed to be
I don’t want to be anything other than me

I make a vow
My life will always honour you
Whether I live or die

I belong to Him
He bore my sin
I owe this life to my saving King

Hallelujah, I am not my own
You are in control
Hallelujah

For me to live is christ
And to die is gain
No matter what price i pay
I choose to give this life away
Only by the cross I am saved

How great are those lyrics?? Just awesome, I thank God, the real big daddy of love! ;)You're love is something I could never achieve, and I can only try to repay some of it and to show the love You gave me to others in my life.

Your Ideal Relationship is Serious Dating

You're not ready to go walking down the aisle. But you may be ready in a couple of years. You prefer to date one on one, with a commitment. And while chemistry is important, so is compatibility.

What's Your Ideal Relationship?

Your World View

You are a fairly broadminded romantic and reasonably content. You value kindness and try to live by your ideals. You have strong need for security, which may be either emotional or material. You respect truth and are flexible. You like people, and they can readily make friends with you. You are not very adventurous, but this does not bother you.

What Is Your World View?

Your Brain's Pattern

Your mind is a creative hotbed of artistic talent. You're always making pictures in your mind, especially when you're bored. You are easily inspired to think colorful, interesting thoughts. And although it may be hard to express these thoughts, it won't always be.

What Pattern Is Your Brain?

Your Seduction Style: Au Natural

You rank up there with your seduction skills, though you might not know it. That's because you're a natural at seduction. You don't realize your power! The root of your natural seduction power: your innocence and optimism. You're the type of person who happily plays around and creates a unique little world. Little do you know that your personal paradise is so appealing that it sucks people in. You find joy in everything - so is it any surprise that people find joy in you? You bring back the inner child in everyone you meet with your sincere and spontaneous ways. Your childlike (but not childish) behavior also inspires others to care for you. As a result, those who you befriend and date tend to be incredibly loyal to you.

What Kind of Seducer Are You?

Agree? Disagree? Think you're at the wrong blog?? Feel free to leave comments!! :)
Yes I know I took the easy way out and just put up test results again, but hey just like good animes (like Naruto) you need fillers between the good parts to catch your breath!

But being the hopeless romantic fogey I am, i've been examining what love means to me. Love is something that should grow naturally and out of getting to know each other and the building up of trust and respect for each other and helping each other grow that will amount to a connection. It is the idea that out there in this huge world and how screwed/unique we are, there is ONE person that you were just meant to be with. You may say I have a high expectation of love, well, I do, but yet I think that by having this high expectation, it will end up being everything and MORE. You may call me naive, but once I meet that other person who believes in love as much as I do, we'll see who's smiling on the other side. :)
I want to be in love all of my life and beyond that with the person I do choose to fall in love with. I don't want to love because I need love, but because that person is worth loving. But what I'd value in a relationship most is commitment, because when you have a relationship between two really committed people, I think almost anything is surmountable. Life can seem so lonely and you may feel that you never know what's going to happen sometimes, but it'd be nice to know that someone will stick by you no matter what and go on that journey of life with you. Here's hoping I find that someone someday! :)
Men have died for love, God sent His son to die out of love, yep, love is truly something.

"Once you've found that lover,
You're homeward bound,
Love is all around,
Love is all around"
~Better Man by Robbie Williams

Hey I thought i'd pop in by and just let everyone know what's going on in my mind these days. It's not great reading nor is it ever going to be made into a movie, but it's my life and hopefully some of you are interested!

Well it's the 29th of September, and in about a months time it will be exams!! Grar shock horror the bane of my life! Well I'm even more stressed than I normally am because this year I did the 'smartest' (sarcasm) thing of my life to take 4 law papers instead of the usual prescribed 2. My intentions were to catch up with the rest of my friends who made it before me so I could be in their classes in future, I don't know whether that was the best move or not, but I've chosen my path and I have to walk it to the end.

These exams basically encompass everything we've learnt throughout the whole year. And being in law, that can cover everything from psychopathic criminals to things that you're supposed to snort up your nose to prevent influenza (Carlill v Carbolic Smoke Ball Company [1893] 1 QB 256). And I'm feeling the pressure.

I've been less slack this year than I was last year, but at the same time I'm still behind. My natural intelligence has reached its limits and I find myself having to work to succeed, which is a lesson i should've learnt a long time ago. It's not like Economics which comes easily to me, or Accounting which consists of problems which you can solve once you know the formula. Law requires a broad base of knowledge and although some of it is common sense, you still need to spend the time to find references from past cases (called precedent) to back it up. Not to mention the hours you spend reading cases and understanding the concepts that have been written up by wise men who probably smell like cheese (sadly I might end up like one of them). So I think I really have to study, and study hard.

I have to fight this laziness inside of me, which seems to have overtly overtaken me and I've only come to realise how inactive I can be sometimes. Oh I'm always doing something, but it's always something that I enjoy, and not something that I need to do. If everyone was like me, then human race would be extinct in...... oh about 3 days because no one would work. I need to change that side of me and I have been trying to. Laziness seems like an attitude that people like to adopt because everyone else says it and so 'if everyone's doing it, it must be ok' but I need to change that kind of thinking in myself. Some people also say doing what you enjoy is no wrong and if you don't enjoy reading cases then you shouldn't be doing law, but I say that a balance needs to be struck. If that were so, people wouldn't go to see their kids recitals and watch tele at home, some things just need to be done, and for me right now, that's study.

So thus, I find myself destroying the social life that I built up throughout the year. And my wipe begins again, I go back to Malaysia, and when I come back next year I have to start my friendships almost from scratch again. But that's been my defining characteristic and how I've gotten to know so many cool people out there in the world. I adapt, and I'll survive. But it would be nice to come back knowing that someone will be waiting for you, oh well... one day..

But in all these complexities of the world (that's only scratched the surface), I think it's good that we acknowledge that life isn't always about smiles and having everything sorted out. I'm not the happy-go-lucky guy you think I am huh? :) Well, I am, because in all these things I know that God is in control and He knows everything and He can do anything, and guess what? He loves me! And to everyone who I've just exposed my weaknesses to, I hope you respect me more instead of criticising my weakness, because face it, we all aren't perfect, and I'm still a work in progress, and I know you guys are too and I love you all for it. I guess the most important thing is that we always remain an ACTIVE work in progress and accept each other for what we are. :)

Life isn't always easy
Complexities surround me
Sometimes it's not clear to see
Evidence of your majesty

But I am hanging on
To the one
Who gives me life
But I am hanging on
To the one
Who gives me life

Wow, that's one long and complicated blog. It's probably been the most truthful blog I've written in a long time, in a world where even our true selves aren't allowed to be all that true. I'm making a resolution to study hardout till exams, then maybe I can head out into the sunlight and smell the roses again :)
Blog ya later~

~I want to know you,
Yet I don't, because I'm afraid what I know won't be true,
I want you to know me,
Yet I don't, because I'm scared you won't like what you see,
But yet, if we would just accept ourselves and each other
We can build each other up
Then maybe we could really be who we were meant to be.

If only you'd see under the rust you'd see that there's gold,
If only you'd see through the sea you'd see the fish,
If only you'd read past the cover you'd find the full story
And if only you'd see through my face you'd find the real me.
But you only look and you compare,
And although there's plenty much nicer,
But no one as true or as heartfelt as me,
Who cares for you truly and deeply and wants you to be
The best person you could ever possibly be
But you might never find out because you only looked
And don't yet see....


I dunno what you call that, but it's what I feel. I guess it reminds us that everything is like an ogre... or an onion.. because they have layers. And nothing is ever as simple as it looks. Just like God can peel through the layers and get straight to the heart of the issue to give us what we NEED, not want; we need to try to peel through some of those layers.
In 1 Samuel 16:7 it says "The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart"
We are by no means God, but I believe that God understands how to truly judge a man's actions, after all, HE MADE US, and we should try our best to follow in His example by looking past the flesh into the heart, by pulling apart the strongholds in our lives, by peeling away at those layers. Then maybe we could discover what God really has in store for us.

~I thank you for being in my life, even if only for a brief moment, because every smile and laugh we had made my day. Who knows, one day I hope you'll see the gold beneath the rust :)

Just a little song I wrote when my ex gf broke up with me, I was feeling really low, but I knew that God would bring me through it, that even though I was feeling like no one listened to my cries, God always does and He offers the encouragement and love to get through anything. So be comforted :)

While I Sleep
How could this be? Am I still here?
Someone touch me please, I cannot feel
This pain I can't bear anymore
A broken heart inside my core

But i can't lose hope
I'm not that weak
I try but who listens to my cries while I sleep

I thought I was the man I'd be
But nothing changed inside of me
The games we played were all in vain
I can't see out, no I see no gain

But I won't lose hope
I'm not that weak
I try but who listens to my cries while I sleep

Someday I know I will be no more
But I can't lose hope
no not this way
For every flower that dies
Will be replaced by a seed sometime
For every heart that's broke in two
There'll be another I promise you

So don't lose hope
You're not that weak
You cry, and I'll listen to your cries while you sleep.

Hello! Just came in to check up on the ol' blog, make sure it didn't evolve into something with legs and 3 eyes while i was away, but here it sits, like an ever faithful companion. Sniff, reminds me of my dog CJ before we had to eat *cough* uhh I mean give him away.

But anyways, HIYA!!! Allow me to welcome you to my blog if i haven't already done so, and to thank you for coming to read up on the vida loca that is my life.

It's the first day back from holidays, and I'm already exhausted. University is a challenge but some of the compulsory subjects are such a bore I just blank out sometimes. Had a pretty harsh day to start out with, 4 hours of lectures and one tutorial to sit through. But the good thing is there is only 6 weeks left of uni to go...... until exams that is.. sigh :P

But the holidays were jam packed of fun again, as always. I do feel a little guilty because I hardly had anytime for God, but I will have to do something about that next time I guess.

Things I got up to during the holidays : snowboarding on Turoa, saving Keith from himself (actually he got hurt falling on some rocks while snowboarding), did the KAC dance for the KAC ball (a whole lotta fun), spent time with my bro and his gf coz they were up in NZ for a while (great times), went fishing in the bay of islands, went to a couple friend's 21sts, went ice skating, saved Yen from himself (he fell while iceskating, sigh I seem to attract injury), had many numerous nights of DOTA, went to Waiwera Thermal pools, and ate an enormous amount of food. Yep, all in two weeks, it's been hectic i tell u!
Something that deserves special mention are the oysters in the Bay of Islands, they were the size of my hand!! I have never eaten ones that large before and I probably never will again (until I go to Bay of Islands again of course *grin*)

But yeah that's it, I will update more with much deeper thoughts soon (I hope), till then, blog ya later!
But yeah,